CHILD : Dad, where did I come from?
DAD : Okay, we had to have this conversation some day!…… So why not now
DAD : Okay,
Now Listen…. Dad and mom met in a chat room on the net. I set up a meeting with your mom and we landed in the bathroom at the Cyber Cafe. Then, mom did some downloads from dads memory stick and… More...
Redmond, WA – Microsoft Corporation has reconfirmed its commitment to bringing the “total PC experience” to Macintosh computer users.
MS software developers this week announced the latest version of its “Windows for Macintosh” bundle comes with MyDoom, Bagle, SoBig, LovSan/Blaster and Melissa already installed.
Plus, it will automatically connect to the Microsoft website upon start-up to download a customized Mac version of any new virus or worm that… More...
Dear Tech Support:
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a slow down in the performance of the flower and jewelry applications that had operated flawlessly under the Boyfriend 5.0 system.
In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.9, but installed undesirable programs such as NFL 7.4, NBA 3.2 and NHL 4.1. Conversation 8.0 also no longer runs… More...
A .. HARD-DISK Woman: She remembers everything you say and do,FOREVER.!!!
B… WINDOWS Woman: Everyone knows that she can’t do anything right, but you can’t live without her.
C… EXCEL Woman: They say she can do a lot of things but you mostly use her for only four of your basic needs.
D… SCREENSAVER Woman: She is good for nothing functional, but at least she is exciting… More...
An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress. The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring relationship. The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because of the passion and mystery he found there. The engineer said, “I like both.”
“Both?” they asked.
Engineer: “Yeah… More...
1. When you call us to have your computer moved, be sure to leave it buried under half a ton of postcards, baby pictures, stuffed animals, dried flowers, bowling trophies and children’s art. We don’t have a life, and we find it deeply moving to catch a fleeting glimpse of yours.
2. Don’t write anything down. Ever. We can play back the error messages from here.
3. When… More...
News just in of Microsoft’s latest venture: Microsoft Corporation has taken another step toward dominating every aspect of American life with the introduction of Contraceptive98, a suite of applications designed for users who engage in sex. Microsoft has been a pioneer in peer-to-peer connectivity and plug and play. It believes these technologies will give it substantial leverage in penetrating the copulation enhancement market.The product addresses two important user concerns: the… More...
At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated: “If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 miles to the gallon.”
In response to Bill’s comments, General Motors issued a press release stating:
If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all… More...
ABBOT: Ultimate Super Duper Computer Store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO: Thanks. I’m setting up a home office in the den, and I’m thinking of buying a computer.
ABBOT: Mac?
COSTELLO: No, the name is Bud.
ABBOT: Your computer?
COSTELLO: I don’t own a computer. I want to buy one.
ABBOT: Mac?
COSTELLO: I told you, my name is Bud.
ABBOT: What… More...
INSTRUCTIONS FOR MICROSOFT’S NEW TV DINNER PRODUCT: You must first remove the plastic cover. By doing so you agree to accept and honor Microsoft rights to all TV dinners. You may not give anyone else a bite of your dinner (which would constitute an infringement of Microsoft’s rights). You may, however, let others smell and look at your dinner and are encouraged to tell them how good it is… More...